We managed to get through the season relatively unscathed by Covid and finish with a sigh of relief! I would like to say a massive thank you to Bara, Diva, Shelley, Amanda, Jo, Christine, Fran, Chloe, Helen, Katie, Amy, Alice, Megan, Katie & Laura for your support and patience. You have all worked so hard as captains; it has been a testing season with lots of changes throughout.

Thanks also go to the coaches Wendy and Sean. Working in all weather, with all skill levels, takes patience and a sense of humour, so for that I thank you very much!

Thanks to the Girls Junior section, Karen & Clare (whose job I do not envy) for nurturing all our wonderful young players and the future of the club.

Lastly, but by no means least, my massive thanks go out to EVERYONE who stepped up and helped out. It is a mammoth task running a club this size. Without you ALL it would not happen. Playing for a club has shown that results can be achieved no matter which team you play for.

W1s - finished sixth with the youngest team in the league. Providing us with some great hockey, Sean and Bara did a fantastic job of nurturing the team which showed, as the team got stronger and stronger each week. The goals started coming and so did the smiles.

W2s - finished seventh. Wendy, Diva and Shelley coped wonderfully with the player movement (if you find them in the corner just give them wine and ignore the rocking back and forth!). Feeding the 1s with players is never an easy task as it leaves them trying to maintain a balance of an ever changing team. This makes it hard to bond and create constancy, but they did it and already have ideas for next season.

W3s - LEAGUE CHAMPIONS!!! With games to spare! Amanda and Jo captained the team to victory and did a fantastic job, guiding the young players coming into the adult side for the first time making the transition for them as easy as possible. Having the pleasure of umpiring several of their games it was easy to see why they won! Jo Whiting’s wrists played a major part in the win with all the goals! Congratulations to everyone who played 3s this season - you all played a part in the win.

W4s – SECOND in the league but no promotion due to a team in Invictus getting .04 points more and the fact we can’t have more than two teams in a league. Christine and Fran are a great combination and worked very hard to maintain their team morale and work ethic. Congratulations to everyone who played 4s this season - again you all played a part.

W5s – LEAGUE CHAMPIONS!!! Chloe and Helen, keeping the party tradition in the 5s going, worked hard and made the season an enjoyable one for all with a fantastic league win. Congratulations again go to everyone who played 5s this season, you are all part of the league win.

W6s – finished sixth. Starting with Katie Cornhill as captain they gave the 5s a chase at the start of the season with a draw in their first clash! But then came a bump, with a changing team which threw them off course and a change of captaincy to Alice and Megan who took on the role. They did a great job getting them back on track, ending the season on a high!

W7s – are moving leagues to be with the 8s. Katie Custis took on this hard role and had to deal with player shortages and no GK for half the season, it was a tough role indeed. With nine teams in the league and the restructuring it was always going to be tough, but they will live to fight back next season.

W8s – with Laura as the captain and leading a team of relatively new and back to hockey players they continued to improve right up to the last game. Like the 7s dealing with player shortages and often no GK they stepped up and had a go. Their team spirit was one of the best with smiles, photos and get-togethers making everyone welcome! Their WhatsApp group was certainly the busiest!

Thank you for your help and support, I hope you all have a fantastic summer! Marie x

Women’s 1s – by Sean-Michael Campleman

This past season can be truly defined as a season of two halves. Before Christmas Won – 2, Drew – 2, Lost – 7. After Christmas Won – 8, Drew – 0, Lost – 3. Quite a remarkable change in results but the performances and effort shown by the entire squad grew from the very first game until the last.

At the beginning of the season with a new coach, a team comprised of youth and
accomplished players, we set to task in seeing where we were compared to the other teams in the league. With the league changes that took place, it looked like we went up a league and were facing some tough opponents in Old Georgians and Guildford. That aside, we focused on improving each game, learning the team’s strengths, training hard and remaining positive in order to overcome anything that came our way.

Lewes 1s was first up and we were motivated to beat our rivals over the hill. It was a classic first game with lots of small mistakes and the side going to win making the least. Lewes scored in the final two minutes to go ahead and we lost by one goal. Maidstone next, and we continued our goal scoring form, scoring four goals, but unfortunately conceding four as well to draw our second game. Old Georgians was next and knowing they were going to be good, we set to task to work even harder and challenge this formidable opponent. We took them all the way until the last 15 minutes where both teams were equal at 2-2, when their big bench allowed them to reap the rewards and got the legs on us in the last few minutes of the game, a strong performance despite the result.

All the while, the team set to work at training, pushing each other, motivating each other and keeping the standards high and pushing the expectations of the team and what we wanted to achieve attainable. The next three fixtures turned out similar with two more losses and a draw, where we continued to identify where we could strengthen and what we could do to improve our consistency and find ways of going forward with some success. It finally clicked and the team all seemed to join in a harmonious match against Holcombe, where we relentlessly attacked all game long and put eight past the hosts. We finally had our win and there was an optimistic feeling, a confidence, and sharp edge that had always been there but needed one superb performance to set it free. Holcombe was our wind in the sail moment after an extremely tough start in terms of results.

We then recorded a very hard-fought win against East Grinstead and two narrow losses against top five teams, with some brilliant hockey being played.

After Christmas, the team returned to training motivated, inspired and incredibly focused on what they needed to do this half of the season. With a small tweak to the shape and focus of the press when defending and the team learning from the previous games, they set to work on demolishing every team that dared enter their path. Lewes was on the chopping block first and we blew past them 4-0, with them only having two or three entries into our D all game.

Maidstone was next and similarly to Lewes, we dominated the possession, turned the ball over high up the pitch and were lethal in front of goal, recording another win. Second in the table was Old Georgians and we pushed them every step of the way. With two soft goals early in the second half, we were behind and chasing the game from then on, but boy did we give them a fight. We clawed back to 2-2 and with 10 minutes to go, we had them on the ropes and dominating possession. With a bit of rotten luck with decisions on the day, we fell behind and were unlucky to not end in a draw but it was fascinating seeing the opposition wasting time to get to the end of the match.

We then managed four wins on the trot with Woking, Aldershot & Farnham, Eastbourne and Holcombe being blown away by some skilful, focused and consistent performances in which we were by far the better team in all of the games. We had a tough run into the end of the season with three top five teams to play and us chasing a top six finish. Sevenoaks was a hard-fought loss with only one well-executed short corner separating the sides in the end.

East Grinstead 1s and Epsom 1s were beaten brilliantly and the team was working as hard as
they had been all season, and looking to only get better for the final game. Guildford were
our final opponents of the season, with them needing to beat us to win the league. We had
previously lost 8-0 to this phenomenal side in the first half of the season and we were set on
challenging them more so this time. We did exactly that! The first half was simply incredible with the match being very even and both sides well matched. Half-time saw the score 1-1 with the team believing they could cause an upset and were motivated to see how hard they could push. Their bench soon impacted and they managed to score three from penalty corners, including a flick. The positive and hugely successful news that we could match a very good side in open play and only set plays undoing our robust defence.

It wasn’t how we wanted to finish in terms of the result but rather perfectly ended from the performance and commitment the team displayed – never giving up, working tirelessly and putting in consistent and brilliant to watch performances all season long for their supporters.

As coach, it has been an absolute privilege to coach such a determined, steadfast, and committed group of players, who developed their skills and knowledge together but also who love playing hockey with each other above anything. You all push each other from the first minute to the last and ensured that each player felt valued and supported all season long, and leading this, of course, our Captain Fantastic, Bara, who led from the front, and the back, but also sometimes in the middle. From her dedication to the team’s success, missing only one game all season, saying how it is with no nonsense taken and motivating the team every single training session and in every single match. You were absolutely outstanding in every shape and form you take on for the team and a huge reason why we did so well.

To finish this report eloquently, the most unique facet of this team’s DNA, was your resilient ability to always come back from being behind and never giving in no matter the opponent or situation. When going a goal down, I was never worried because you just always came back through your sheer determination and effort on the pitch. That is what turned this season into such a defining and memorable one for me, and when thinking about next season just makes me incredibly excited for what is to come. Well done and let’s start how we finished!

Women’s 2s – by Shelley Formstone

It was definitely a season of two halves for the women’s 2s. With a new squad, a new coach, two new captains and a new league, the team were unsure of what lay ahead. However they started as they finished. Relentless.

This was the word that coach Wendy described the team from the start as they tackled each game with relentless pressure, always chasing every ball and never giving up. By the Christmas break, the team were in danger of breaking into the top three after an unbeaten streak of six games, including a tenacious draw against the eventual league winners Oxted.

Into the second half of the season, a number of injuries and Covid affected the results but the team remained relentless and had a good record on the road, particularly against some of the top teams in the league. The 2s finished the league around mid-table in seventh position, going into next season with confidence knowing they have a strong squad that can compete against the best in the league.

More importantly, the players bonded as a team as the season went on with some stand out moments including Gayle’s tennis shot goal against Oxted, Gaby’s air save off the goalline, Sumi holding off some terrible tackles by Hailsham with a cool head, Laura playing on with a crushed broken finger, Georgie’s muppet chat to Epsom, Shelley’s confusing bully off v Hailsham, vegetarian Cassie eating a chicken sandwich thinking it was egg, Jess snapping her stick in half and filling it with coins to fix it, Diva’s generous passes to oppo CF, Juliette’s aerial backwards over her shoulder.

All in the name of Team Relentless!!!

Women’s 3s – by Alexandra Smart

It was a highly successful and insightful season for the Women’s 3s. Not only did they secure promotion to South (for most of the team, for the second time) they also discovered all sorts of fabulous Sussex leisure centres, unpleasant changing rooms, and picked up a few ‘new’ hockey rules along the way. Their Summer break focus is how to nail the bully off.

What did the Women’s 3s learn this season?

Emily needs a watch. Or a car. Possibly a driving licence if she doesn’t have one already.

It isn’t just hockey where Amanda finds herself constantly on the floor; turns out this is also her preferred beach volleyball stance.

Lizzie also spends a lot of time throwing herself on the floor.

Jo and Ange will never stop battling for golden stick. And Ange keeps notes, possibly ratings, of goals scored. Let’s not forget the match where Ariana scored four though!

Issy M needs some club kit and a rule book. But does get a gold star for being the most enthusiastic player at training.

Irish has nailed pitch side childcare.

Jo doesn’t actually know what the team chant is when your sticks go into the circle at the start of the match.

It isn’t Saturday unless Liv has played at least 17 different sports.

Ariana’s Dad is partial to a cat-nap in a school car park. Excellent use of Dad taxi time.

Taking a penalty flick with no P spot markings is near impossible.

Redders plays exceptionally well on a hangover.

Isolda is taller than Jo.

Ellie doesn’t know that beach volleyball is played at the beach.

Juliet’s knowledge of Disney Princesses is lacking but she can seek out a fine chicken nugget of an evening.

Izzy F will stop by for half a match in any position – commitment!

Beth can intercept anything even when she can barely walk.

Anna is secretly a midfielder, disguising herself as a defender.

Amanda has been known to leave early to get her hair done.

No one likes brie and grape sandwiches.

Jo should bake sausage rolls for all matches.

Where is Andrea?

Women’s 4s - by Head Girl Christine Cawte

The 4s have had an outstanding season both on and off the pitch; the cohesion we have created in such a short amount of time is incredible and, as a result, we finished a solid second in the league behind the 3s.

On the pitch, the team camaraderie has been pivotal in our success this season; every member of our team supports and champions each other. Seamless transfer, high-tempo running and a plethora of Lidl’s finest sweets saw win after win coming our way.

Off the pitch has seen copious amounts of pre-drinks, a Wacky Races-style Carb Night, Grinch shirts, pub golf in Preston Park, the return of Saturday nights on the sticky floor of Revenge and renditions of ‘Paris to Berlin’ reaching a new generation.

I could not be more proud of the team we have created; the energy and effort every single person has put into our season is outstanding, and the friendships, laughs and memories we have made have been a particular highlight of this season. Every Saturday is an absolute pleasure.

Individual reports: Class of 2021-2022

Frances Holliday: What can be said about Frances; she has excelled this year as Vice Head Girl and quickly established herself amongst her classmates as the one with sole responsibility for the balls and masks. Affectionately known by her peers as Ball Bag Wan, she has been pivotal in creating the most successful 4s team in years. Punctuality has been a concern amongst various teachers this year; however, Wan makes up for this with being an absolute asset to our team.
Consistent, hardworking and absolutely hilarious, Wan fights relentlessly for every ball and has unwavering focus to increase the score line, particularly in the first few minutes of a game or off a long-ball from her classmate Georgie. Frances Holliday is an absolute legend; the 4s are extremely lucky to have her and the Head Girl would be lost without her Vice.

Alice Baker: Alice has been extremely sociable this year and has excelled in her new vocation of organising various social events, with pub golf in Preston Park being a particular highlight. She displayed great initiative when stashing her beloved plastic clubs under an industrial bin in order to prove these would not actually be used as offensive weapons in Revenge.
On pitch, Alice has shown her adaptability by playing in a wide range of positions across midfield where she intercepts and distributes effectively. Unfortunately, Alice is transferring to a not-so-local school in Holland; she will be massively missed by her all of her classmates, however they will be capitalising on an overseas school trip to Amsterdam in the near future.

Abbie Wiltshire: Abbie has gained the nickname of ‘Ninja Goalie’ for the simple reason that she is absolutely irreplaceable in goal; luckily for us she remembered to pay her subs after confusing these with a Brighton and Hove Council bus lane fine. No attacker can match Abbie’s agility, reflexes, tiny hands and penchant for befriending leopard-clad OAPs .
A true testament (not the Old Testament) to Abbie’s popularity amongst her peers, she even receives ‘Man of the Match’ votes in games where she touches the ball once every half. This year, Abbie has shown strong entrepreneurial skills after founding the unique business of ‘Only Visors’ which is currently trailblazing across the ‘Gram. Even Jean from The Font is an avid subscriber.

Alice Webb: Alice is an absolute pleasure to teach; her moral compass is second to none: ‘calm down mate’; she excels when mat-talking from the sidelines and can always be relied upon to use What Three Words to retrieve lost classmates… butter/comical/reason. Alice’s positivity and encouragement always bolsters the team; she works incredibly hard to ensure that the Vengabus’ wheels of steel are turning, and traffic lights are burning.
Surprisingly, angelic Alice has shown a rare rebellious streak in recent weeks; when commenting on the divided atmosphere between the 4s and their opposition in the changing room, Alice was quoted to have quipped, ‘it’s like Revenge versus the library in there.’

Georgina Smith: Georgie has settled in extremely well after transferring from a school in the North of England. As a natural leader, Georgie communicates effectively with her peers; she provides pivotal guidance on pitch and isn’t afraid to speak her mind: ‘What are you talking about?’, ‘The next person to stick tackle gets a red card!’ and ‘Send her off umpire!’.
Powerful by name, powerful by nature, Georgie is famous for her unstoppable transfers and long balls in the D. As a team, we have benefitted greatly from Georgie’s ability to share her vision on pitch, in particular her advice on short corners: ‘Right, let’s score- this is getting boring now.’ Georgie has made a huge effort to make new friends this year, with a particular habit of getting so close to the opposition that their hair was tickling Georgie’s chin.

Olivia Howes: Our overseas exchange student Olivia has made a big impact since transferring to our school. At the tender age of 21, her classmates witnessed a concept only previous taught within RE lessons; the resurrection of Olivia Howes on the night of Meal About Town. Turns out that downing a bottle of tequila affected Liv’s coordination - nothing a surprise appearance at 3am on Revenge dancefloor won’t sort out.
On pitch, Liv works tirelessly hard to pressure the attacker and she uses her speed to increase the tempo of the game and drive the ball forward. The trials and tribulations of Olivia Howes have continued throughout the academic year with key highlights being: a ball to the Very Accessible Goal, being dubbed ‘young and shoeless’ and creating a Missy Elliott inspired move of ‘flip it round and reverse it’… off the pitch… from the sideline.

Joanne Smith: Joanne from Essex (waves at head height) has been a popular member of the class. Previous concerns about her rebellious behaviour have been quelled this year with a more focused, less hungover attitude from Joanne; it must, however be noted that stealing a zimmer frame at pre-drinks is not acceptable. Joanne has capitalised on her trademark straight strike on short corners to add even more goals to our collective total.
Motivational speaker may be a vocation that Joanne would like to pursue as she has excelled in her rousing half-time team talks. Her punctuality has greatly improved, although she was found lost in a field/farm during one school trip. It has been extremely pleasing to see Joanne’s love of dancing being showcased this year; she has single-handedly revived the 2004 club classic ‘Paris to Berlin’ complete with a repertoire of flash mob dance moves.

Gemma Hill: After transferring from a local Sussex school, Gemma quickly settled into the team and formed a union with another student who are collectively known as G-Unit. Sporting an attire of giant hooped earrings at training, Gemma coordinates the back line, and in fact the forward line, alongside her other G. She uses her hockey brain effectively to direct the forward line to ‘step left’ and ‘hold’ in order to ensure our set-up on 16s are effective in pinning the ball in the opposition’s half.
In fact, the size of her hockey brain may explain why the DoD squid hat barely fitted on her head. Next year, the class would love to see more of Gemma’s trademark tomahawks in the D and a little less unwashed shirts.

Elizabeth Atkinson: Lizzy is the ultimate defender; she demonstrates an unwavering calmness when faced with being the last player standing and her ability to save the ball on the line is incredible. Solid as a rock, geology is an area in which Lizzy excels; she has shown a keen interest in protecting the Queen’s sand at all costs and has kept her classmates up-to-date with the logistics of soil.
The impact Lizzy has made in central defence has been a key reason why the 4s conceded such a low number of goals compared to their rival schools. Lizzy has a keen eye to pick a ball out of thin air before distributing it away with ease; she has also had a few near misses when her goalkeeping classmate batted the ball just inches from her face. After her run in with a wayward deer in her youth, Lizzy’s reflexes are now highly developed and put to great use on the goal line.

Sarah Cresswell: Sarah is not a name you will hear her classmates utter; Cressie has demonstrated exactly why experience matters within a rowdy class. On the ball, Cressie demonstrates skill and control; she is hungry for goals… even when they are stolen mere millimetres from the goalline ‘just to make sure’. This year, Cressie showcased her outrageous reverse flick into the top corner to which the crowd went wild.
She delivers the goals when the class need them most and is always on the lookout for a hat trick; her confidence to take on the goalie coupled with straight strikes from the top of the D has ensured Cressie’s goal tally consistently increased over the academic year. Additionally, Cressie has started her own unique taxi service whereby she supplies wayward (hungover) clients with a wake-up call, a reminder to wear shoes and even a toothbrush.

Rosie Brown: Rosie is her own entity of hilarity. Many times this season, newly transferred student Rosie has found herself in a series of predicaments. Transport appears an unlucky issue for Rosie; she first had her bike seat stolen during an extra-curricular trip to a pub quiz then found her car locked in Crawley FC car park during a school trip which was only retrieved after the team scaled the fences.
On pitch, Rosie has been extremely adaptable, despite her quote of ‘I don’t in fact have many dribbling skills’, especially as she is rarely allowed to play her actual position of defender. Rosie has been an excellent addition to the class. She demonstrates great tactical sense on pitch; the same cannot be said for Laser Tag where Rosie failed to grasp the concept of not standing on the bridge with the enemy.

Charlotte Bishop: Charlotte, or Bish as she is affectionately known to her friends, has had an unusual season- mainly because 75% of it was spent injured after falling over herself and suffering a severe sprained ankle in the fourth match of the season. Sorely missed while she recuperated/continued her extra busy life of socialising, Bish returned with a bang- quite literally - in the latter half of the season when she squeezed into a narrow parking space by conjoining her Mini with a transit van.
Since her return, Bish has proved formidable in the central midfield position where her trademark tackles intercept any counterattack. Her classmates will be pleased to know that Bish has enrolled herself on Ankle Awareness training to avoid any further repeats of this season’s antics.

Poppy Wootton: Poppy is the epitome of hard work and perseverance; she gives 1000% in every game where her speed and skill outwit any oncoming attacker. Always the athlete, Poppy enjoys a post-match vape to celebrate the class’ multiple wins. After coming out victorious in the Weakest Link in the late 2000s, Poppy has channelled her inner Anne Robinson when attending the after-school activity of Laser Tag. Hiding in the shadows, Poppy took no prisoners and left others trailing in the wake of her laser. A keen Food Technology student, Poppy has sampled every snack on offer at teas and has applied her stealth and control to ensure these can be enjoyed throughout the week.

Alice Briggs: The youngest member of our class has grown immensely in confidence during this academic year. A solid defender on the right, Briggsy as she is commonly known (partly because a quarter of our team are in fact called Alice), has repeatedly denied and dispossessed oncoming attacks. We all look forward to seeing Briggsy continue to flourish within this year group and hear some more of her quick-witted comebacks, even if the class all attempt to forget that she was actually born the year after ‘Paris to Berlin’ was released.

Rebecca Wooding: Becca’s ability to maintain tempo throughout the game is admirable; she travels at precisely 99mph across the pitch leaving the confused opposition wondering how she has tracked them down so quickly. Concerns have been raised about Becca’s sugar intake after an unfortunate sugar overdose resulted in Becca removing herself from the class activity, as she was ‘buzzing so much’. Becca’s Sonic the Hedgehog high-energy and determined attitude have made her an asset on the wing; she fights for every ball and is relentless in her pursuit of the opposition. She must, however, remember to check her kit bag for unwashed under layers… from two years ago.

Abby Furber & Orla Lee: The class were lucky enough to have two new students, Abby and Orla, join them in the latter half of the season. These two junior players displayed confidence, control and decision-making well above their years. Both made a big impact in the short time they attended this class; Abby made excellent runs down the wing and held strong against an experienced opposition whilst Orla demonstrated poise and control when attacking, and even scored on her debut. Their fellow classmates cannot wait to see how far they both progress in the future.

The 4s Class of 2021-2022. What a team; what a season!

Women’s 5s – by Poet Laureate Kate Dawkins

Martlets Div 2 - UNDEFEATED LEAGUE CHAMPIONS!!!

Alas the fives, it’s the end of season
Where I write a poem for simply one reason
To shout about how we all are so great
Because firstly we have the team with most Kates

We started the league smashing five passed the Bees
Which set us on a run of unbelievable ease
We say that now, cause the season’s closed
But we worked hard, played some nice stuff and stayed composed

And let’s not forget the changes in team
I bet most of the captains were hoping it was all a bad dream
The squad numbers were high as we all wanted to take part
After two years of COVID we wanted to start

So before we move forward we have to show magnitude
Because we are the Fives and we certainly aren’t rude
So a huge big thanks to Zoe and Hannah
Not to mention Megan and Soph, who were also in our manor

Then there’s Fleur and Cheeks and Gary too
And the last is Millie, I’ve named everyone phew
Peace and love for your wonderful talent
You all showed great character for being so gallant

Right let’s move on as there is a lot to say
And that’s not because half of us are gay
Why don’t we start with the stalwart defence
Hey let’s just face it, they’ve been immense
Only eleven goals have crossed their defensive back line
We might as well say, they are all mighty fine

We’ve got Kate MC and Wilson too
And Michaela got promoted finally, woohoo
Then there’s Jo T and Ines with their fine hockey skills
Not to mention defensive goalscoring KK and her short corner drills

There’s the reliant Kath Sealey with her super jab tackles
And also young Tilda who tightens the shackles
That there is a defensive dream team who’ve parked the bus
Just eleven goals I tell ya, don’t mess with them, discuss

It’s game time now, where we talk about our wins
The matches where we scored loads and played out of our skins
Hitting seven past Eastbourne was our biggest goal tally
But South Saxons got a thumping twice cause we didn’t dilly dally

There were hard fought games against the Sixes and Grinners
Where we played out a draw and there were no final winners
I’ll come back to the crucial games that completed our run
Where we scored last-minute goals while having some fun

It’s now time to introduce you to the midfield tour de force
Who have grown in confidence and kept us on course
They worked it from the back with class and ease
A fine group of players, who make hockey look like a breeze

Let’s start with our vice captain, Helen is her name
Her one-liners this season, she’s only got herself to blame
But she’s done a stern job as social secretary too
You generally find her in the clubhouse, having a different type of brew

Then there’s the amazing Amanda who likes to stop in her tracks
And Marianna who just runs with her Forrest Gump attacks
Also there’s young Flo with her excellent dribbling ability
And we can’t forget Donna with her cardboard shin pads creativity

There is one more player that I need to mention
But she gets a whole paragraph later because of her determination
So there we have it the midfield maestros
A fine bunch of players, didn’t you know

Right, back to it, where we secured some crucial victories
And time wasted with style much to our opponents’ contradictories
Lewes are for sure one of our Achilles heel
But we stole six points from them and kept it real

Worthing also kept at us, finishing second in the league
But we beat them twice without suffering fatigue
I think the best win that turned the tide for us
Was the away win at Eastbourne where we played some heroic stuff
Who doesn’t like a last-minute goal to send us on our way
Eastbourne that’s who, but we all had a great day

And now on to the forward line with their shooting ability
They only score goals because of the rest of the team’s agility
Fifty four goals were scored throughout the whole team
We call ourselves strikers, who like to dream

There’s the lovely energising Aisha with her top corner shots
And Lou, with her turn and speed, who likes to pick her spots
Dawkins prefers to set them up but scores a few along the way
But Cazza puts them on the nose, she can play up front all day
There’s nothing like a goal from anyone on the pitch
Even our captain popped up a few times to make a last-minute ditch

Now before we move on to Chloe, our super captain extraordinaire
Just another person to mention who showed some crucial flair
There is a lot that goes on behind the scenes
Especially when the club captain turns up to practice in her jeans
Hey Marie we all know you work hard
So a BIG THANK YOU from the FIVES for staying on guard

Right, that’s it, a season of true class
All brought together by a captain that kicked arse
Trying to organise us bunch and play every week
Takes a lot of skill, and patience, and a lot of cheek

Reminders of kit colours and memes to get us through
Playlists and warms ups, we did it all for you
We have a captain, who supports us through thick and thin
No unicorns this season Chloe, just amazing wins!!!!

UNDEFEATED! Champions!!!

Women’s 7s – by Kate Custis

The 7s suffered several key player losses at the start of the season for various reasons, and further losses along the way due to illness and injury, but more positively are shortly to gain a new baby player which is an exciting development, so congratulations to Hayley and her husband on their impending new arrival.

These early changes meant that the season was generally an unsettled one for the 7s with weekly inconsistency and shortage of players pretty much every week. However, we did have some amazing juniors join us for several games to bolster our numbers, including Alice in goal who definitely saved hundreds of shots on our goal and gained considerably in confidence and shouting volume to direct the players as to where to mark.

The stalwarts of the 7s continued to play consistently well, integrating with our new players from the 8s and also the junior players. Unfortunately we failed to have the stable squad we had enjoyed in the previous seasons and this showed in our results, with weekly format and player changes. We played 17 matches (one was cancelled due to a team withdrawing from the league), won 3, lost 13 and drew 1, resulting in the 7s being relegated to div 4.
Hopefully next season there will be a return to the stability of squad and the results will quickly return us back up to div 3.

Have a relaxing summer 7s and let’s all come back in September with renewed enthusiasm and increased fitness… keep up the running etc over the holidays ☺

Men’s review – by Pete Stevens, Men’s Club Captain

All in all a good season. No relegations, two promotions.

Men’s 1: Avoided the drop thanks to inspired performances towards the end of the season (and a little help from EH). Thanks to Joe, Jon and Carlo.

Men’s 2: Following the league re-shuffle and travelling to the outer regions, finished a commendable sixth, with several of the 2s making their National League debuts supporting the 1s. Thanks to Bromley for rising to the challenge.

Men’s 3: Despite a few availability issues towards the end of the season (less said) finished fifth with a mixture of experienced and BHHC youth players. Thanks to Paul and Carlo.

Men’s 4: The 4s thankfully avoided relegation (selfish point: if relegated my 6s would not gain promotion). Another side of experienced and the BHHC youth players, who rose to the challenge. Thanks to James and all the 4s (all 45 of those selected).

Men’s 5: Finished mid-table, a commendable position in a tough league despite suffering availability issues. Thanks to Ramzy.

Men’s 6: Promoted, finished second. Not wishing to gloat but we were good (most of the time). Thanks to Steve, Tom and all the team.

Men’s 7: Finished a commendable third despite having a diminished squad. Thanks to Dickie and Gary.

Men’s 8: Promoted. A testament to the Jon Royce legacy, young players who can hold their own in the adult leagues. Thanks to Carlo for carrying this through.

Men’s 9: Finished a commendable fifth. A team that who, in my opinion, encompass the ethos of BHHC. Thanks to Matt Sale.

Final thoughts
The first full season following the lifting of the COVID restrictions has been challenging particularly in respect of the EH Game Management System, which for the BHHC administrators has been challenging to say the least. Thank you to all for bearing with us.
The Summer League organised by Eastbourne in April 2021 allowed our younger players to experience adult hockey played at a competitive level. The outcome of this allowed our younger players to be integrated smoothly into our 1s, 2s, 3s, 4s, 5s and the 8s, which is predominately a youth side.

With the younger players coming through I believe that BHHC has plethora of home-grown talent that are exceptional. The future is looking good.

Thanks to:

Matt Sale - as always invaluable support

Andrew Bromley - as above, particularly with the coaching and everything else

Myles/Carlo/Jon for pushing the youngsters through

Lee for providing Flippers to provide invaluable support to the lower men’s league sides

All the team captains

Joe, Jon and Carlo - men’s 1

Luke Williams and Dickie Barnes for the thankless task of sorting the umpires

Those of you who have umpired on the graveyard shift on a Saturday and on a Sunday. It is greatly appreciated by our Juniors in particular

Julia Shorrocks for being the best Club Secretary (you will be missed) and for umpiring the 6s x

Marie for being Marie and giving me support and advice x

Alan Teal and Tom Wolfenden for sorting the fixtures and pitches etc. We couldn’t play without them

Finally, the biggest thanks go to Jenny and Graham for feeding, watering, putting up with us. We don’t often get to say this enough.

THANK YOU!

Men’s 1s – by Carlo Missirian

New dawn and new beginnings post Mr Royce...

Firstly it would be totally remiss not to thank and acknowledge the incredible job Jon has done for the club over the years with all the juniors but especially with the first team. We have experienced top level hockey for many years and very few would have been able to come into the position we were in and keep us in the league in our first attempt at National League status.

It was also such a shame that the final year of his tenure was so affected by the pandemic that we were beginning to look stronger and stronger until the season was cut short before the festive break.

It was always going to be a transitional year and we were delighted to welcome back Joe Naughalty to the fold as player coach. Also some new faces with some real pedigree, big dawgs Will Heywood and Joe Sterlini from Bath and Southgate respectively, certainly helped with the squad and James Rayward returning from university shenanigans and exploits.

Many old warriors from years of national league service committed to another year and potential divorce proceedings! As always we would like to thank all the people that support us on a Sunday, it makes a big difference and the team really appreciates it.

Jen's efforts to supply hot teas is beyond legendary and again all the team would like to thank her, Graham and John for this amazing touch of genius and kindness!

The Division One South league campaign started with a crushing defeat against Reading away… Will Heywood with a magnificent debut of 90 seconds decided to take on a Reading attacker's stick with his head. A real wake up call but for 35 minutes there was only a goal in the game.

We then beat Havant and Sevenoaks away and things seemed to be going well after the poor start against Reading. Even though we were blessed with the best goalkeeper in the league, our inability to defend as a team and ship goals was the ultimate downfall in many results; although goals scored was mid-table standard, goals against was not pretty!

Availability was hampered by a royal wedding (double yellow card groom!), international duties, but most damaging several long term injuries to crucial players such as Will Heywood, Jack Jones and Sam Rose's hamstrings! They were really missed and would have made a difference to the campaign.

Four poor results before the break at Christmas put us in peril and ramped up the pressure: we should have got more points from Bath (Fletty three-wheel Audi boy), Oxford, Southgate and OCs (umpires know best... NOT!)

But in all games the common denominator was goals conceded, often poorly and when we were in the ascendancy, and that cost us dearly.

Post-Christmas we started to play better hockey and looked stronger but still were not getting the results we needed. We did beat Havant at home but Sevenoaks and Teddington were crucial games where we played well enough to get more points but only a point meant that the games against the other lower teams would be even tougher. Leaders Reading also started to drop points against those around us and a gap began to emerge for us to be in a safe position.

Southgate beat Reading the day before our game against Hawks which made the game even bigger for both teams. After the Oxford Hawks game, where they were down to nine for 10 minutes and relegation loomed, it could not really have been worse and being relegated that evening with all the results around was devastating.

That Friday the EH gurus decided to change the rules to make the Premiership a 12-team league and the best placed out of the bottom two from North and South would have a life line and stay up… for once the hockey gods were with us and it was back in our hands!

Southgate away: we were desperate for three points and decided to put on our most impressive and best defensive display of the year. To a man the squad was outstanding and the best goalkeeper in the league finally kept a clean sheet! With the results in the North going our way, relegated one week and promotion the next!

We played a lot of youngsters and second-team squad players over the year and it was a great chance to bed some of these players in; although we played some attractive hockey going forward our undoing was the goals against column and something we must work on next year.

However the Southgate game showed just what this team is capable of in defence and we will work hard to prepare and be ready for another tough league campaign.

The effort and commitment to play at this level is immense and the club should be hugely proud and grateful to these guys who have kept us at this level for so long! If any of the boys decide to hang their astros up, thank you for everything you have brought to the team, you are all living legends but here’s hoping many get their lycra shorts on for one more year!

Men’s 2s – by Andrew Bromley

The league shuffle saw the M2s lose plenty of Kent fixtures and gain Surrey fixtures in return. We’ve swapped the beautiful Kent holiday resorts of Herne Bay, Gillingham and Folkestone for exotic places such as the Army town of Aldershot and the commuter belt town of Sunbury on Thames.

From a travelling perspective, our longest journeys have been reduced from two hours to 1.5 hours. It doesn’t seem like much but it’s certainly noticeable! We shall miss Clacket Lane services but look forward to more stops at Cobham.

On the back of two stable seasons in Kent/Sussex div 1, we approached this year with the target of finishing sixth in South East div 1 West; The best of the rest! This may sound defeatist but that’s behind several wealthy first XIs as well as second XIs from Prem team clubs (Oxted and East Grinstead). I’m happy to report that we achieved sixth, finishing above the likes of Worthing, Crawley and Reigate first XIs.

This season we also made a major step forwards in our support of the men’s first XI, as the following players made their first XI (National League) debut: Tim Upchurch, Ed Zeidler, Jago Hussain, Sam Headey, Finn Tookey, Will Buttress and Oscar Davies.

The last two names come with particular pride, as they are both ‘home grown’ BHHC talent and are both only 17. A tremendous achievement for both the players and the club. Pats on the back all round and long may it continue! Thanks to the M1 management team (Joe, Jon and Carlo) for showing faith and allowing this to happen.

We also welcomed new players to the club from local clubs Horsham (James & Owen), Hailsham (Sam) and South Saxons (Guillaume).

From a stats perspective, Chris Page again finishes as top scorer – who said the tap-in specialist was a thing of the past?!

Staying on the stats theme, we are without doubt, the worst team in the club at taking penalty strokes, missing all four that we’d won. In fact, we’d have beaten top of the league Aldershot & Farnham had we dispatched our PS (ending in a 1-1 draw) and drawn with second placed Sunbury (a 3-2 loss). I shall not name the guilty parties but to highlight our desperation, we played GK Matt Upchurch on pitch in the final game just in case we won another!

Personally my favourite match (and result) was the 3-2 home win against Worthing first XI. It was an end-to-end match, with the last play of the game being Ed Zeidler dribbling up the centre of the pitch past their entire team and winning a PC. Awesome scenes!

Player of the year votes were spread around this year, perhaps confirming the effort put in by all members of the squad. The nominees were: Matt Upchurch (GK), Tim Upchurch, Chris Page, Oscar Davies, Ed Zeidler, Will Buttress, Sam Headey, Dan Trigwell and Nathan Soutar

Here’s to next season, hosting (among others) local rivals Lewes first XI.

Men’s 3s - by Paul Harvey

The 3s, aka Rocks, were the normal mixture of grizzled age and youth and finished a respectable fifth. Highlights of the season were wins again Horsham 2s, Lewes 2s and Mid Sussex 1s and a draw against Southwick 1s, meaning we won or drew against all of the teams above us.

Beating Horsham 2s 4-0 in February and breaking their 100% record in the process in a great performance was sweet. We were frequently fielding a team with lots of juniors, all of whom had good seasons and will come back stronger next year and be challenging for the 2s. Huge thanks to the Pebbles, who stepped in a few times and will be challenging for places next year. The end of season game against South Saxons where we narrowly lost 1-0 fielding seven Pebbles who were all superb was another highlight.

Billy put in some great performances in goal before a frustrating injury meant the return of Psycho, who rolled back the years in the three-decade quest to take out every centre forward in Sussex. Riordan and Luke OS showed lots of promise at right and left back, Riordan even throwing in the odd unexpected aerial and 3D hockey. Wolfie was probably our most often present player – gold dust in a team that struggled with consistent XIs - and is getting better and better at demanding the ball and finding passes. More goals and driving runs next year please.

Travis and Curtis scored some good goals and put in a pile of running to close teams down. Stephen really grew into the season and put in some top performances particularly in 2022. The veteran side of the team was the normal mix of in, out and too often injured but great when there. Jack provided lots of creativity and I’m guessing might have been our top scorer. Ninja, Adam, Calum, Dermi and occasionally Luke Williams were rocks at the back.

Dave D will hopefully stop malingering for next year and give us more wobble and goals from six inches. Jon Williams was an always welcome addition when not coaching. A more consistent X1 and a more polished short corner routine and we should be pushing Horsham 2s for the title next year.

Men’s 4s – by Andrew (What? No nickname?) Auld

The start was at least good. An early lead against the eventual champions and a team with designs on playing higher, struggling against a fluid Brighton 4th XI team constituted by an even mix of returning adults and promising promoted youth. The start was also an illusion. Mid Sussex prevailed on an Indian summer afternoon, supported graciously in the second half by Brighton’s season enduring ability to spoil any goalscoring chance and the proclivity of the defence to pass to the opposing forwards. Both would be common themes throughout the season.

The Indian summer was soon lost as a deluge accompanied the match against Brighton 3s. Aided by inter-club rivalries denigrating the usually structured play of the 3s and vision impairing rain, a surprising 3-1 win was secured. Unfortunately, this was a high point for the first half of the season, with subsequent results ranging between galling and embarrassing losses, intersected by the odd win against other clubs circling an unappealing relegation battle.

A 6-0 loss to Southwick was grating considering Brighton’s scratch side, bolstered by even more ever youthful reserves, controlled the game in parts and were trailing by a single goal at the half. This outcome and the nature of it led to a loss of bath toys and furious WhatsApp messages by certain senior squad members.

Following a useful, if not largely forgettable, 2-1 win against fellow survival targeting Worthing save for an early soliciting for the goal of the season by Liam “Eggshell” Coleman, there was a trip to Eastbourne to face the most experienced side in the league. Years and kilos were given away to the robust Eastbourne 3s, but Brighton felt that was not generous enough, and therefore gifted them a late winner through the usual route of ‘centre defence to opposing forward to easy goal’.

The Horsham double was split with a 3-0 demolition of Horsham 3s solely by the flowing locks of Gaetan “don’t worry lads, the long-haired one isn’t that good” Geslot, affixing himself securely to the hierarchy of leading scorers for the season even though he would return to his native France after two games to drink cheap wine and smoke even cheaper cigarettes. As expected, Horsham 2s reciprocated the result inflicted on their fellow clubmen. Not even the adventurous formation and in-game coaching of Andy ‘Mr Hockey’ Bromley and the score-settling challenges of Mike Smith could override the base team instincts of charitable defence and befuddlement in front of goal.

The subsequent Lewes double was a disappointment; a turgid 2-2 draw with Lewes 3s, affording them their second point of the half, was followed by a 5-1 chastening by Lewes 2s. An attacking trio populated by mostly recent juniors such as Frank Newman and Will Ireland harried and embarrassed Lewes for large portions of the match. However, again, the themes of the season; magnanimity in offence married to generosity in defence plagued the final 20 minutes and showed improvements made over the first half of the season in game control and patient patterned build-up could not stack up against gifting goals to the opposition.

The final game of the first half was dire. The winter break was needed.
Brighton returned from the usual winter plumping full of zeal with a vigorous desire to cement their place in the league and avoid any excruciating relegation conflict. Instead, this vigour all expired in the first game of the second half against league leaders Mid Sussex. Two goals against the miserly defence of Mid Sussex may have given the impression of striking green shoots, but six goals at the other end brought a familiar feeling, which may have driven Phil “The Power” Orris to try more robust and physical rearguard measures.

A surprising and very satisfying 1-1 draw with Brighton 3s belied the continuation of our winter of discontent. A 1-0 loss on the beach at Hastings, where the team competed amongst themselves for card counts and mistraps, was followed by three further losses, relinquishing 16 goals in total. Where even the guest appearances of Paul “stay on your fecking feet Potter” Rispher and Richard “Danger Bobble” Willmott could not overcome the usual cacophony of ill-timed substitutions, stolid guest keepers, comedic defence, players driving to the wrong venue or filling in for other teams, injury and petulant moaning to the umpires.

The occasional moment such as the move of 10 one-touch passes whilst overcoming a high press to score against Southwick, the continued development of ex-juniors such as Jacob “what time does Tesco open” Young and Bruno… well we don’t talk about Bruno, alongside the emergence of Alex “quick tyre change” Bull as a strangely effective although unorthodox midfield option, supported by the arrival of James “low centre of gravity” Ellis and the irregular but much appreciated aggressive attacking talents of Joe “petulant stick drop” Wilkinson, did give the impression there was a team manifesting that did not reflect the league position.

Frustratingly though, the slide continued against the bottom of the league and, at the time, owners of a single point, Horsham 3s. Perhaps the redeeming feature of this game was it was clear to all who played and or who were sentenced to watch that the rat-infested, nail scraping, dregs sloshing bottom of the barrel had been hit harder than a James “I’m the captain” Millar short corner as it whistles past the outside of the post. The hot teas were little comfort in a 1-1 draw and the difficulty of selecting a man-of-the-match.

Thankfully, the barrel started to be drained and the season turned at the next game where an understandably over-confident Horsham 2s side was frustrated and held to a 1-1 draw. Supported by the ‘Desperate Dads’ trio of Willmott, Dave “the ringer” Bockett-Pugh and Andy “beer club” Wheeler, and the usual excellence of Andy “asleep in the corner” Hehir, a very scratch side played well enough to convince Horsham to lodge a complaint about foul-play in team selection. This “compliment” from Horsham and the draw itself was celebrated like a win by the team and like the last night before being shipped out on active duty by the Desperate Dads.

The Lewes double loomed next with the added concern that the gap between Brighton and the second bottom was narrowing as Lewes 3s had unexpectedly started to win. First up were the 3s and the opportunity to achieve league safety, but this match played out like two confused pandas repeatedly picking paper in a game of rock paper scissors for 70 minutes. The returning Joel “match report” Tasker was a welcome addition to the defence and gladly adhered to the season traditions – thankfully, this time without consequences – whilst Callum “great in the twenty-five” Pooles and Newman toiled fruitlessly upfront. Opportunity missed, but no damage done apart from constitutions on the train pub crawl home.

More concern followed the penultimate game against Lewes 2s who prevailed 2-1, merrily supported by pernickety umpires. Harley “I’ve had a lot of goals disallowed” Harden was fantastic traversing the baseline and setting up many season saving chances, but the revolving pitch time curtailment of many players for flashed plastic from niggling challenges through to anatomy discussions with umpires prevented any rhythm and control.

While Brighton stewed in the naughty seat, Lewes 3s had continued to beguile their position and showed the form of title contenders, turning the final game against Middleton into a must win. There were moments on the pitch in Littlehampton that reflected the season; passes to opposing centre forwards, a less than clinical approach to goalscoring, but for once, these did not matter. Like an obstinate toddler, the season-long game plan and style of play were untouched by the collective belief that the short-interlinked passing approach developed would prevail over the season.

Callum “fisherman” Rudrum was dragged off the physio table to lead the line and duly delivered, scoring a quick double, thankfully unencumbered by the team’s season traditions. The opportunity of a hattrick was quashed when Orris, full of unearned conviction, claimed a flick against the better judgement of all. The record states it was scored, the reality is that it was a joint effort with the opposition keeper.

The rest of the game tailed off into a procession as both teams accepted the result with only ex-Middleton player Dan “club man” Roberts under duress and being forced to adopt the brace position in every tackle. The relief felt by Brighton for the first win since early November was personified by Hehir, who smartly combined time wasting with rehearsing his future role in a John Smiths advert.

Although the season was a weekly challenge, the development of the team and players was evident throughout, moving from a fragile 50-minute goal-adverse squad to one deserving of its place in the league. Much of this evolution can be attributed to the resolute captaincy of Millar, who balanced the roles of manager, coach, therapist, disciplinarian, cheerleader, travel coordinator and club 18-30 rep with aplomb.

Many thanks as well to all those not mentioned above who ensured a challenging season was also thoroughly enjoyable, including all the players who filled in for a game or two answering calls late on Friday evenings.

A requirement for brevity restricted the naming of all 32 players used this season. There were no explicit season targets for the Brighton Men’s 4s but implicitly, for every year it has been to ‘end the season in the same league as started in’. Target achieved, just.

Men’s 5s get over excited – Fun Fun Fun – by Ramzy Omran

In total we used over 30 players and thanks must go to everyone of them including all 5 goalkeepers who played for us (Simon Smith, Andy Hehir, Pete Stevens, Elliott Ashdown and Sean Neale), they all saved us from having me or Big Dog in goal!

The season started under a cloud as we played our opening match at Blatchington paddling pool under torrential rain, we obviously knew the conditions better than South Saxons as we ran out 6-3 winners.

We then travelled to Worthing where the team probably did not perform to their best capabilities with handbags raised within the team, in the end we lost 2-1 with one player deciding to retire after the game but despite this still picked up two player of the season awards.

Other notable games were South Saxons away where we only just managed to get a bare 11 out (at one point on Friday night we looked like cancelling) including help from other teams and came away with a credible draw partly down to our DJ Ben Simon warming up with the opposition and getting their tactics. One player who made his debut in that game was Lucas who phoned the club to see if he could join the week before and ended up playing in Hastings, driving and taking a carload (good lad!). Lucas went on to play every remaining game and will be missed next season when he moves for uni.

We managed to pick up a few green and yellow cards this season, most memorably when Hidi hacked down a player (goal-saving opportunity). None of these went to the normally aggressive Sim Robbie in fact I cannot even remember Sim having any altercations with the opposition or umpires (is this a first?).

Throughout the season we had injuries or illness at the back so we seemed to be playing everyone in defence at some point so thanks to Sim,Tyler, Jamie Morris, Big Dog, Evan, Phil, Harvey, Wrighty, Jasper, Millar and Hidi who was a star defender despite playing out of position. In defence we said goodbye to Laurence Budd and Sam Newey as they moved on to pastures new (London and Birmingham).

Throughout the season the midfield performed well, being ably propped by Bunny till his season ending injury at Mid Sussex. Other notable performances in midfield came from Kylie, Wrighty, Covey, Big Dog, Jasper, Sam Nicholl, Sim, Phil Turner, Callum, Lucas and Aidy.

Up front we had many choices but star forward was our third Alex, this one being the Sanchez (on his return from uni) who ran out our top scorer, but we had many a forward this season - Jamie Hendrick, Jukesy, Sam Nicholl, Covey, Phil Turner and on one occasion Lucas.

Miss of the season goes to Phil Turner when he bizarrely missed, managing to send the ball wide from 2 inches.

Once again thanks to all the players and also to everyone who has helped make the games possible, you know who you are and without whom the 5s would not have been able to fulfil their fixtures.

Men’s 6s – by Tom Wolfenden

Sussex Division 3 - Played 20 Won 15 Drawn 1 Lost 4 Goals For 73 Goals Against 34 Points 46. Runners-up and promoted!

Unbeaten at home up to Christmas, lost games in Dry January but returned to winning ways from February to clinch promotion.

We started the season with a succession of away wins against the stronger sides in the league. Our self-belief was cemented early in October at Crawley where, in torrential rain, we beat a well drilled combative team, scored every chance that we created and defended resolutely to win 5-1. Other notable wins include 4-2 away to EG, the eventual league champions, and a second half battering against Worthing - after a dismal first half performance (Klopp referenced us the other night at Villareal).

We were sluggish after Xmas, without rhythm, unable to convert chances and leaking goals which resulted in three home losses against other title contending sides. Our losing streak stopped at an away fixture at Chichester Uni when Littlehampton failed to show (or even tell us for that matter). We took the walkover three points, used the pitch time to play a five-a-side training game which rebooted our winning operating system for every remaining game of the season.

For most of the season, we played three at back in-front of Pete Stevens (gk) who, threescore and upwards, put his body on the line for the cause. Alan Teal/ Chris Burrell held the centre. A mention to Burrell for goalkeeping when Pete injured his ankle and to Teal for his heroic goalline clearances in a number of games when Pete was reading from Manuel Neuer’s autobiography at the top of the D. Jamie Carter, Tom Wolf & Dan Wallace played left/right in the style of Kenny Samson. As a defensive unit we communicated well, marked tightly and made the attackers earn their money.

Playing three at the back needs a disciplined defensive holding midfielder: Steve Rigg (before his call up to the IPL), Jack Boniface & Mungo Coyne all stepped up disrupting opposition playmakers and offering short give and go passes to start our attacks. Nat Wright, Rev Taites, Gareth O’Sullivan, Rob Chilvers & Simon Corrie formed the backbone of our midfield: all seasoned campaigners.

Rob had a standout season, scoring key goals to change the momentum in several games. Gareth, so often in the engine room, had a MoM performance away at Crawley scoring quality goals and Si Corrie consistently troubled the opposition with his pace and direct running which often drew two or three defenders - creating space for others to score. Nat Wright worked tirelessly when defending and attacked from wide left positions to stretch opposition defences. Rev’s game of the season was at home to Littlehampton when he scored both our goals and cleared off our own goalline to secure our 2-1 win.

Roo Page, James Schmitt, Liam Coleman and Ben Simon passed the baton in a three-man attack; Roo had a quality first half of the season before the allure of the East saw him jet plane off to Asian climes. Around the same time, Liam stepped into his shoes and was scoring from every angle before a season-ending tackle by the Crawley keeper saw him sidelined in January. James took up the no 9 shirt, held the ball up well, linked with others and scored tap-ins, drag flicks and converted his penalty flick with coolness. Ben Simon returned to the club for the final weeks of the season, offered width and pace on the right wing and took his goals well, particularly at Southwick.

So promotion to Div 2 beckons - a reward for a quality season for the stick men who roll a six on the BHHC dice each week.

Thanks from the Men’s Club Captain:

Thanks to Tom for the report and match reports.
Thanks to Steve and Tom for on pitch wisdom.
To all for the half-time discussions, banter and laughs. Jamie for the reintroduction of the half-time oranges.
Thanks to Dickie for the thankless task of organising the umpires, to Alan Grey who seemed to umpire the majority of our home games.
To Teal who managed to get most of our home games played at 11.45am. Selfish reasons by the Men’s Fixtures Secretary, NEVER!! (I have almost forgiven him for trying to break my ankle during the first EG game).
Big thanks to Jenny and Graham for feeding and watering us.
Finally it was a great season, played in the right spirit (even against Lewes).
Thanks to all for making this, as Tom says, “a quality season” in which we have gained promotion
Guys, it’s been a pleasure - thanks
Pete

Men’s 7s – by Richard Barnes

A really enjoyable season finishing in third place in a very competitive Division 4, ahead of the mighty East Grinstead, there’s a lot to be proud of. We had a small core squad which meant reaching out for help, and needing as many as 48 players across the season.

Highlights that spring to mind…

• Early season 6-0 home win against Eastbourne: lots of goals without reply, Hamish negating the Eastbourne playmaker
• Lewes at Falmer 11-0 win: loved the amazing purple patch at start of second half, four goals in a crazy five minutes.
• East Grinstead home draw 1-1: fighting back from a goal down, a diamond hard performance in defence
• A win 1-0 at Eastbourne with 10 players: Kevin Mould hopping on one good hamstring bagged the deserved winner very much against the odds

Star performers were many…

• Dave Hodgkin, Hamish Vans Agnew, Gary Revel-Chion, John Spearman, Cameron Heath, Lloyd Easterbrook, Andy Wright - in fact the whole defence have been very difficult to penetrate all season conceding a miserly 27 goals, only the Pebbles conceded fewer. We set a club record for the oldest back five of Dave, Hamish, John, Cameron and Gary, must be touching 300 years there!
• Midfield heroes Dickie Barnes, Andy Cunningham, Atul Patel, Phil Withers and Kevin Mould.
• Up front Steve Shorrocks patrolled the right wing linking up with a number who played useful cameos including Simon Finn, Lewis Carter, Jason Bryant, Mo King, Evan Hitchen, Marcus Chaplin

Very grateful to all those players who stepped in when needed and the other team captains for their proactive support finding players, especially Lee Cooper for organising enthusiastic and decidedly useful youngsters from the Dolphins squad, much appreciated.

Player of the season with a hatful of goals (13), always a threat going forward… Kevin Mould.

Men’s 8s – by Matt Richardson

A mild Saturday in late September marked the start of the Pebbles 8s first season in the Men’s Martlets League Division 4 with an away tie against Crawley.

Not many of these young men (or their parents for that matter) knew what to expect, only that in the men’s league they would meet older, sometimes (but not always) wiser, and mostly more experienced opposition. In stark contrast and up to now, most of the these 15 and 16-year-olds had been playing junior league, but under the stewardship of Carlo Missirian and a few regular well-seasoned veterans, their maiden season had begun.

Regular Saturday games became the norm, and before we could draw breath, the Pebbles came storming out of the traps. September and October saw five back-to-back wins, amassing 23 goals for and conceding only four. An unseasonably warm game in Worthing saw not only some very enjoyable hockey and a convincing 5-0 win, but cold beer for the spectators and baguettes on the clubhouse terrace - the post-match teas was new to many of the squad and something they would need to get used to.

November saw a similar return with three wins and a draw against a well-rehearsed East Grinstead team, the toughest opposition to date. The Pebbles were flying high at the top of the league, being chased down by St Francis with East Grinstead and Brighton & Hove 7s close by. Gelling as a unit wasn’t tricky for this young squad and what became clear was their secret weapon – boundless energy.

December started with a chance to take on St Francis at home. Conceding early the 8s looked shaky for the first time this season but three quick goals took the game out of reach for the opposition, only for the Pebbles to have it stolen from them by failing floodlights – match abandoned. As you were.

Ending the calendar year, the Pebbles remained unbeaten - 10 wins, 1 draw. No one expected that I’m sure.

January started the second half of the season and a home tie at Blatch saw Crawley on the end of an 11-0 drubbing. That was followed by a 3-1 away win against a South Saxons team that came with threadbare astro, pyrotechnics from a local bonfire and lumberyard style stick tackles, and a 9-0 victory against Worthing – 23 goals for and just one against. Happy new year indeed.

Pebbles were looking unstoppable; having honed their style comprising a quick start and high press they used much of their youthful energy to outrun and outclass their opposition. Mixing with the experience of a few solid veterans this made for some scintillating hockey that was more than easy on the eye for the spectators, building from a solid defence through the middle and feeding the front line with pace on the wings and using the pitch to its full by spreading the play effectively.

The hockey was not the only highlight - on the away legs, the post-match hot food award went to Crowborough’s chilli only marginally outdoing the South Saxons sausage and beans. The home fare was just as good from Graham and Jen with their Christmas dinner sandwiches and pizza – a big hit for the boys.

The DoD Lego Trophy was also making its way around the squad on a regular basis by this point of the season. Forgotten shoes or shirts, glaring misses, mistimed short corners and comedy moments always guaranteed a clear winner.

Then February arrived with a seemingly (on paper) easy tie against bottom of the table Lewes. But no, a first loss – 2-1. The following week normal service was resumed with a 14-0 thrashing of Crowborough only to lose again, this time against St Francis. A tetchy game was made worse by a torrid Storm Eunice with extreme cold casualties in Brighton’s ranks playing against a biting wind and torrential sideways rain as well as an overly physical opposition. Suddenly the Pebbles had dropped to a ‘lowly’ second in the table - angsty times ahead, having come this far this feeling wasn’t easy to comprehend, could those two games be the turning point of the 8s season?

Thankfully February is a short month and entering March with a convincing and impressive 5-1 win against East Grinstead, followed by a 9-0 mauling of Eastbourne, the team got their mojo back. Suddenly with results going our way there was only one point splitting second place Pebbles and top-of-the-table St Francis with the penultimate game of the season a head-to-head at their pad. Focus, energy, youthful resolve, solid leadership and some great second half hockey paid dividends – a 4-1 win and back to the top for the Pebbles.

So, the final game of the season - a 5-0 home win which cemented the league championship for this group – an outstanding achievement with 17 wins, 1 draw and just 2 losses, finishing three points above their closest rivals.

Looking back it’s clear the Pebbles have come a long way in a short few months. They’ve built a band of brothers, a hockey family that leave it all on the pitch. It has not all been plain sailing though, and on more than one occasion they have had to learn to ride out the storm of sometimes wincingly industrial-level tackles and flyweight v heavyweight physical match ups. It has however been a season goal-fest and, with mostly one-way traffic, they use the pitch effectively to play intelligent, creative, fast-paced hockey, letting the ball do the hard yards and digging deep when the going gets tough. In short, this hardworking unit with their sometimes unplayable brand of hockey has taken this league by storm.

Yes, there have been some standout performances from individuals this year, but there’s little merit in mentioning names. The reason? Primarily, this group are a collective unit that play for each other and have a team spirit that is second to none on and off the pitch. A team with only one goal (or 101 if you count them all).

Congratulations Pebbles on a stunning first season, there’s no doubt this group is ready for the challenges ahead.

Men’s 9s – by Simon Smith

Like most of the Men’s teams at BHHC there is a credible amount of activity on the pitch. Moreover, the M9s certainly punch above their weight in the clubhouse, but of course the real action is to be found in the WhatsApp group. What the M9s lack in agility, energy, skill and cognitive activity on the pitch, they more than make up for ‘on the socials’. There’s about 7 metres of WhatsApp scrolling to be done, about as long as one of Doc’s runs, or the longest of Dreadful’s goals.

A ‘quick’ review of this year’s expert banter on the M9 WhatsApp group illuminates the highs and lows of a bumper season. A season that started with a crisis of identity. Over the course of the 21-22 season the Men’s 9s have been drawn from a ‘squad’ of 40 players, but it wasn’t the size of the... er… talent pool that caused the problem.

Week 1 Captain (stalwart and all round good guy) Matt Sale announces that we are, because of changes in the leagues and the addition of another team into the bottom (sic) league, we are the 9th XI. Week 2 it’s all change, we’re the 8s again. Then the following week we are the Men’s 9s, ‘nonchalant and knackered’. After some debate we become the ‘IXs’. Which we all think is quite classy, befitting our statesman like status etc etc. Andy Mattock is still ‘holding out for the 10s’, mind.

So what of the BHHC IX’s season on the pitch? We played 20, won 9, drew 2 and lost 9. Our goal difference was almost on par and on occasion we played some really good hockey. Over the course of the season we improved game by game. There were some low points – Crawley - and some highs, snatching a draw from the jaws of defeat at East Grinstead and most memorably when a depleted squad turned in five against Eastbourne.

Those who should be mentioned in dispatches amongst the 30 used players. New faces Dylan Bonds and Lewis Carter, who provided some pace upfront supporting top scorer Rob Threlfall. Always dangerous on the right was Chris Allen and always, always, fully committed was Duke Quinton. The triangle was bossed by the Midfield Genitals of Pete Smales and Alistair Thomson, who showed considerable balls all season.

And so to the backs. Could it be that the combined age of the M9 defence is older than the M8s entire team? Jon Beale (much celebrated England over-68 player this season) brought some real youth and ambition to a back row of Richard ‘College’ Ray, Andy Read and Myles Ford, and Matt Sale (before a nasty fall ended his season early). Together these stallions, these aged warhorses, huffed and puffed, and shouted and bickered and excelled themselves as the last line of defence for the often largely shambolic goalkeeping of Simon Smith.

So… the socials… and those highlights: Ready felling ‘one of our own’ and then taking them to A&E, the double ‘Rock’ Lobster, a series of Post Modern impressions of Lateral Flow tests and of course some shared delight at how one member of the team is able to masturbate with his ankles.

Like I said. Highs and lows.

This season half the games we lost were against other Brighton sides. What the leagues will be next year we don't yet know, but we will be there, we will prevail, we are old, but we are undaunted, we are proud, we are the Men’s IXs ... at least for a bit.

Under-16 girls (Cormorants) – by Clare and Richard Cook

The girls U-16 team (aka Cormorants) started off this year playing in the England Hockey tier1 league and cup and have had a fantastic season of tough matches. All the players have made huge progress along the way.

They came second in the tier one South League which ran pre Christmas (to Knole Park who eventually won the EH national cup). They then went on after playoffs in November (during which they drew in a masterful display of hockey to Knole Park 1-1) to play in the newly formed Supra League where they enjoyed some challenging games against some of the country’s best teams including Knole Park again, Guildford and Surbiton.

They started their EH Cup campaign with a hard fought loss against Wimbledon (eventual national Supra League champions) and consequently entered the Plate competition. This was the start of a thrilling run which culminated in a final against London Wayfarers at Reading HC. The travelling support spurred them on to an exhilarating display of relentless and efficient hockey which ended with a 5-0 victory.

They are a team of talented, enthusiastic, committed and fun young sportswomen, their individual and team game is outstanding and they all have a bright hockey future ahead.

The girls are pictured above celebrating their fantastic Plate win.

And finally …. A message from the Chairman

Please volunteer to help our club!

We are a large club in size now but with only the income of a small club. Despite that, this season we have had success and promotions with both the men's and women's sides as well as the Cormorants winning the national plate under-16 girls competition.

It is, however, getting to the point where the few volunteers that help run the club, captain the sides, coach the teams and manage the juniors are struggling.

If you would like to support the club we would be more than happy to find a way for you to help. Whatever your skills we will find a use for them.

Please speak to me in person or email me at g.edwards43@ntlworld.com

Thank you - Graham Edwards