Alex Smart reports: "After being handed a walkover by Guildford in the first round of the Over-35s Cup, we drew Sevenoaks on the same day as England Masters trials for a good chunk of the squad. We have a good history with Sevenoaks having won against them in the competition two seasons ago.

This meeting didn’t have the same positive energy vibes without Amanda vomiting into a carrier bag on the way. After 67 versions of a team lineup and several discussions about the best kit combination, 12 fine looking ladies arrived in the rain to take Sevenoaks on.

There was a slight miscommunication about the GK role, which resulted in a late Saturday night delivery of a goalie kit that is still in my boot and Wendy playing outfield without any of her own hockey kit. But we were all delighted to have Steph in goal and it was certainly worth her while coming for she saw a lot of action.

Once Wendy was kitted up with Kelly’s football gloves down her socks for shin pads and a spare mouth guard from my Mary Poppins hockey bag, we were ready to rock. The downhill descent started quickly and as the Sevenoaks forwards carried the ball into the D with some lovely 3D skills, we knew that the s*it was about to hit the fan.

All 13 of their goals were lovely as they descended upon the goal with a variety of shots, from straight strikes to flicks to tomahawks to deflections. We were concerned that the electronic scoreboard hadn’t ever been so busy and might combust with the flurry of maths it was having to do.

Despite the score, we did have moments of nice hockey including a goalline save from Julia and two entries into our attacking D to check that their keeper was in fact still awake. Unfortunately for us, she was, and she saved both attempts to score. Kelly claimed that she was ‘unfit’ yet managed to rack up the most distance covered with 7km; helped by her shuttle runs when subbed off to overtake my 6.5km.

Our efforts really deserved a Sunday roast for match teas. Or at least a jacket potato. We were presented with sandwiches that were far less exotic than the BHHC offering. Not a whiff of brie or grape in sight.

The intention was to get into Tier 2 of the Cup after progressing into Tier 1 two seasons ago and facing a team of ex-internationals at Canterbury. An unlucky goal difference of 13 really secured our place in Tier 2 and we look forward to the next round in the new year! If the Men’s 1s are feeling at all glum about their recent string of results, they’re welcome in the Ladies Over-35s any time. Massive thanks to Ali for organising the team which turned into a squad of 87 players, and Jess for umpiring."

Other results

BHHC 4s 2 Crowborough 1s 1
Crawley 2s 2 BHHC 8s 0