Orla Lee reports: “We knew going into the game that Knole Park would be a tough opponent, especially after their dominant season last year. Despite their reputation, we aimed to focus on our own game. Unfortunately, we had a slow start, and Knole Park capitalised on it by scoring three early goals.

However, after settling into the match, we began creating chances and growing in confidence. Despite this, Knole Park struck again on a counterattack, earning an unfortunate penalty flick, which they converted. We didn’t let our heads drop and continued to fight. Our efforts were rewarded with a well-deserved goal, thanks to a selfless pass from Renee, who set up Dani perfectly at the back post to slot it home.

At halftime, we regrouped and came out with renewed energy. We played well much of the second half, creating multiple chances as we consistently pressed Knole Park, while also handling any pressure they applied. Our hard work paid off when we scored again through Meg, closing the gap to 4-2. However, despite our continued efforts to push for an equaliser, Knole Park managed to find the back of the net once more, sealing the final score at 5-2.

POM goes to Eliza, who in her final appearance put in a stellar performance in midfield, driving the team forward and giving everything for the cause.

DOD went to Orla, who turned up to the changing room after her house hockey, completely forgetting she still had her face paint on!"

BHHC 3s 1
Hailsham 2s 1

Alex Smart reports: "Now that the three-day Meal About Town hangover has subsided, let’s talk about Saturday’s match. I don’t remember much due to my head being in my hands for most of the game and Tuaca wiping my memory on Saturday night.

What we thought would be a goal frenzy turned out to be repeatedly banging our heads against the brick wall that was Hailsham. Playing 10 v 11 on half a pitch is a tough game and credit to the opposition defence and GK for making life incredibly hard for us. All they had to do was capitalise on a quick counter attack and go visit Abbie at the other end of the pitch. Unfortunately this led to them taking the lead in the first half.

Apart from that slip up, the defensive line of Amanda, Diva, Lizzy, Zoe and Emily barely let the ball get past the halfway line. Georgie’s slap hit made a welcome return to send many balls into the D and Juliet was able to pick the ball around the 25 to keep our attackers busy and even managed to make a tackle while lying on the ground. Sorrel made good use of the little space we had to drive into the D and Elise had some lovely link up play with the forward line of Jo, Shelley and Izzy. Ange consistently made strong leads for the ball and pressed well to disrupt their hit outs.

The forwards tried every style of shot and a variety of PCA routines but nothing was getting past the wall. Moments after Hailsham commented to Jo that they didn’t have any subs, Jo tried a new shooting tactic that involved missing the ball and swinging her stick into the lady bits of a defender. Without the aforementioned subs, she bravely continued to play with an ice pack wedged up her skort.

Eventually, the ball found its way past the unbeatable keeper as Shelley capitalised at close range after successfully moving her to the right post to slot the ball past her. With fighting spirit we continued to attack the D with shots going wide, coming off the post, hitting the keeper’s pads and being cleared by the defence.

Not only did Hailsham walk away with a point, they also got to “rate our teas” at the clubhouse. We’re all keen to see how the fine brie and grape sandwiches and Aldi seal bars stack up across the league.

Diva and I stayed on to umpire the 5s where I told Dawkins to “run faster next time” after she tried to chase down a ball that Usain Bolt would have struggled to reach. No one likes an umpire with banter.

Onto Meal About Town to drown our 1-1 sorrows. Aoife taught me and Postie how to speak Irish and when offered a drink, Rich said he drinks “anything”. Good lad. Feeling rather flush after Juliet transferred £40 to me rather than the 40p owed in fines, many a round of shots was purchased back at the clubhouse. Anything to support the club.

Sorcha serves a mean rum and ginger beer but I don’t think her maths is going to close the deficit anytime soon. Despite a large group being keen to go “out out” it turns out that if you stagger through Hove at 2am without a plan, there really is nowhere to go. Abbie and I tried to keep Diva in our sights as she staggered down Sackville Road petting stray cats and Juliet was last seen in a bush somewhere near the traffic lights.

PoM: Lots of contenders for lots of hard work - Jo, Georgie, Goergie (possibly a close relative), Juliet, Ange, Amanda, Emily, and the winner this week, Sorrel.

V*gina of the Day: Jo. Close runner up: Money bags Juliet overpaying her fines by £39.60.

Other results

East Grinstead 2s 4 BHHC 2s 0
South Saxons 1s 3 BHHC 4s 1
BHHC 5s 2 Burgess Hill 2s 0
Lewes 3s 1 BHHC 6s 2
Horsham 5s 1 BHHC 7s 2
BHHC 8s 0 Lewes Legends 5