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Men's 3rd XI - Match centre

Brighton and Hove Hockey Club
Crowborough 1s
Sat 11 Nov 11:30 - League Full time

MODERN HOCKEY TEAM

Music: ‘Modern Major-General’ – ‘Pirates of Penzance’ by Gilbert and Sullivan, 1879

We are the very model of a modern hockey team,
We warm up for an hour and play a pressing scheme,
We’ve won many games, and we quote the wins historical,
From Eastbourne to Crowborough, in order categorical;
We very well acquainted, too, with excuses that are plausible
For games where the result, was slightly more deplorable,
About the latest win we’re teeming with a lot o’ news;
With many cheerful snippets about the ‘borough triumph cruise.

With resolution in the rear, we prevent goals being scored,
But in advance, it’s rare to hear a ball bouncing off a backboard;
In short, we warm up for an hour and play a pressing scheme,
We are the very model of a modern hockey team.

We setup with a plan, two banks of four and a middle jewel
Bending, Sharms and Archie on the bench, J and Bromley forward as a dual,
We stressed the press and cried ‘bingo’ at personal responsibility,
Space out wide we expressed, Pagey, Rob and Dan showed great mobility,
They came down from above, with all the discipline of a drilled unit,
A break in midfield, repeated shorts and we were down to a goal bandit
The team stuck to our plan; forwards and JC drawing delight in the D
An umpteenth corner was dreaded but up popped J, scoring on his knees

We used to democratise our games’ malcontent constituent,
But now we praise the best of us, and Bending bakes infrequent;
In short, we warm up for an hour and play a pressing scheme,
We are the very model of a modern hockey team.

We started the second much like the first buoyed by citrus fuel,
We probed the left, we probed the right, but the misses were cruel,
With much of the half gone it was tense to which we can attest,
But Willmott wanted a short rest and the umpire acquiesced,
What we have learnt from Friday evening and jovial WhatsApp J;
Against all the science, hungover he is better in his play,
In short, a cursed yet teasing mishit slap from Sharms to Ninja,
Up pops briefly a tumbling J, writing his own agenda.

A 2-1 victory and onwards to forth up the table,
Amongst macarons, J drew our praise and Rob to bake his staple;
In short, we warm up for an hour and play a pressing scheme,
We are the very model of a modern hockey team.

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