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Men's 3rd XI - Match centre

Mid Sussex 1s
Brighton and Hove Hockey Club
Sat 7 Oct 13:30 - League Full time

Make Brighton 3s Great Again

A collection of tweets from POTUS

Most match reports for BHHC 3rd XI articulate in a succinct and occasionally humorous manner the events from the weekend’s game. This report will struggle to achieve both, as it attempts to imagine the thoughts of the forty fifth President of the United States if he were to have been present, condensed down into his favourite medium of one hundred and forty four character bursts.


Really happy to see MANY supporters turn up for #BHHC3s. Bad and failing MSN won’t report this. Largest crowd ever at a hockey match!

Brighton midfield dominate. Noble, new guy Josh, Weir and Page. Child and Reid on bench. Good movement and pressing. Goals will come.

Blind umpire fails at job and shows Willmott yellow for “obstruction”. Clearly FAILING at job! Your FIRED umpire!

Poor decisions and yellow card distracted Brighton. Only reason mid sussex scored from short corner. #Brighton will recover. Game-on.

Brighton showing resilience with half court press tracking all movement and with directions from keeper Zach…..
…..strong example of keeping people out to our boarder agency. I will build a wall, a beautiful wall in the imagine of this GREAT press.

Small section of crowd distracting umpires with weak allegations about #BHHC3s not having strip numbers. Just attempt by……
.....TINY opposition crowd to distract from great play and game winning play by #BHHC3s. Clearly #BHHC3s have mid sussex rattled. SAD!

Commanding play by Brighton defence and midfield. Only scraps for mid sussex. Goals will come. They will be great goals. Mark my words!

Forwards Hendrix and Tyler dominating mid sussex wide defenders with speedy movement like Rocket Men.

Strong half time speech from captain Bending. Reminds me of my inauguration speech (clearly borrowed). Make Brighton 3s Great Again.

Umpires confused again. Should have been fired long ago. Dermot showed passion and was clearly provoked. Short rest will only aid away team.

3s struggling at shorts. I will create a great routine, nobody creates better routines than me, it will be a beautiful routine and Mexico will pay.

Youngsters (Porter & Harris) on right and left wings showing great future for BHHC.

Clear attempt by Bending to correct FAILING umpire decisions. Instead of being thanked he is given a card. Wrong decision.

Ex mid sussex play Tyler (clearly saw the light) has GREAT shot OBSTRUTED by opposition player’s head yet umpire does nothing. SAD!

As usual fake news media “fixtures live” only print the score. #BHHC3s had more cards, shorts corners and strip variants. Clearly better team.

Cake rating poll was FAKE and FIXED, just like GBBO. Clearly lemon drizzle was 10! Don’t believe WhatsApp – it’s hacked.

MOM: NOBLE
DOD: CAMERON
BAKING: 9.3

Match Report: Donald Trump

All views expressed in this report are the views of Donald Trump, and no offence was meant (it’s satire people!).

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Team selection has not been published for this fixture yet.

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