Match Reports
24/01/09
Horsham 3s 0-4 Men's 4th XI
After the demolition of Crawley and getting agonisingly close to a clean sheet, we looked to getting some revenge on Horsham, who have been the only team this season to take two points off us. I also personally had some ghosts to rest after a woeful performance last time we met.
But with Ready (holiday) and Smithy (home hunting) absent I struggled to find two defenders with a “y” in their name to deputise. Would Bondy and JC (well it sounds like y) have to be drafted in? Happily superstition took a back seat and young Jamie Morris, with more hair than most of the team combined, and Mullens (less said about his hair the better) made their 4s debuts for the season. Hang on, Seany and Jamey! that’ll do me…!
We also welcomed back Captain Dan for his first game of 2009.
Things did not get off to the most organised of starts. Bondy was delayed “looking for his keys”. But we suspect that’s a euphemism for “3 currys the night before so got a little waylaid”. But still, impressive work at being late and living the closest to the clubhouse.
Wrighty also did well getting lost in the 1 mile drive from Hove and also arrived late. To cap it all I forgot that Chris Perry was on his way and left without him! His fault for being 20 minutes late for the meet, but I must take some blame for not checking the register. He still managed to beat Bondy to the pitchside. Although, to be fair Bondy had stopped for a bacon and egg sarney and arrived looking like the joker with ketchup round his face, so that’s a decent excuse!!
The pedometers, so vaunted in the bar last week, were also conspicuous in their absence….
With the team finally assembled we could get the game underway, but not before a minutes silence for Chris O’Neil who sadly passed away this week at a terribly young age. R.I.P. Thanks to the Horsham lads for honouring the minutes silence with respect.
With Perry taking the Ready position at sweeper it was a fairly confused start as he tried to work out what to do. Luckily for us Horsham didn’t have much going forward and our strong midfield took control and moved the ball around well. To some degree it was a carbon copy of the week before as short corner after short corner was squandered.
It took the on form Davros to put the finishing touch to a fine move and give us the lead, and put him as top scorer. I’m sure this would not have escaped The Dobinator’s attention and he popped up from close range to double the lead and retain the parity at the head of the scorers table.
While the ‘keeper made some good, and increasingly reckless saves, Benson, who is a good bet for scoring in most games rifled in a stinging drive which the ‘keeper could only parry into the goal.
With the defence holding firm there were few alarm bells.
The half-time team talk was brief and while the second half was closer Horsham had to rely on Nash going walk-a-bout to give them a decent chance.
Collecting the ball in the right back area, I was fearful. Nash, a lifetime left back, gets very confused where on the pitch he is when over on the “wrong-side”. As he turned to do his customary “dribble off the pitch” he found himself in the middle of D with the ball not 100% in his possession. One of the clone-like long haired Horsham forwards pounced on the ball as Nash floundered. Luckily for him I was on hand to collapse effortlessly in front of the ball confusing the opposition’s forwards into striking the ball repeatedly into my pads. I like to think it was my reading of the game that made for the excellent saves, but let’s be honest…it wasn’t.
With the half threatening to be barren, of defenders falling over, Nash stepped up (after falling down) collapsing onto his hands and knees in the middle of nowhere. He blames it on “heavy wax in one ear”. Nice.
The half also threatened to be barren of goals but a moment of genius involving great passing from Dan to Bondy and then on to Davros followed by an excellent finish gave Davros his second for the game.
The final whistle blew, saving Bondy from the ignominy of vomiting on the pitch. He managed to hold it down though, good work. Whether he made it all the way home only he and Wrighty, The Navigator, can tell us. No-word yet…How long should I wait before alerting the coastguards?
We also lost JC on the way to the clubhouse with The Dobinator continuing to vent his spleen at the at the AA route map and Dan Simpson refusing to obey his sat nav and giving me Nash a wonderful tour of the downs on the way home.
In the bar it was voted that I should win DOD, for forgetting about Perry… and Davros was voted MOM for another excellent display. Special mention also for Jamie Morris, who came second in the vote for MOM, and impressed everyone with his defensive game.
Team: Brooksy, The Navigator(y), Jamey, Seanie, Perry, Captain Dan, JC, Bondy, The Dobinator, Davros, Tosh, Benson.
Goals:
Davros x 2
The Dobinator
Benson