Match Reports
02/02/08
Ashford 1-0 Men's 1st XI
Inept Forwards Log: Star Date February 2nd 2008 - The Ashford Debacle
From the shell-shocked Brighton and Hove players trudging out of the dressing-room post-match like zombies, to the thousands of stunned fans who streamed away from Falmer in silence, the question was the same.
How the hell did that happen?
The last time Brighton and Hove had been beaten, two weeks ago on a similarly freezing afternoon in Falmer, they had gone down in glory, blameless in defeat, having exceeded the wildest of extravagant expectations.
This time, to the utter disbelief of the 82,000 in the ground, Brighton and Hove threw away a game that - at odds of 19-6 in their favour - appeared to be over.
Ashford were teetering, waiting for the final push to send them over the edge. People were taking bets on how big Brighton and Hove's winning margin would be, with the consensus somewhere around the 25-point mark.
And then the madness began.
Experienced Brightonians started hitting the ball around like blindfolded golfers.
Even Hugh Salter - the hero of those unforgettable Falmer afternoons last autumn - was affected, firing the worst pass of his career five feet past a dumbstruck Thomas Langston.
For the home fans, it was like watching a nightmarish film where the swashbuckling hero stands over his stricken foe with sword raised, ready to administer the coup de grace, only for him to then trip over his own feet, drop his weapon and knock himself unconscious.
His surprised enemy then gets up off the deck and strolls off into the sunset with the treasure and the girl.
The match stats told their own story. Brighton won more ball in open play, made more line breaks and won 10 turnovers to Ashford's two.
But they also made six errors through kicks to Ashford's one, and made a staggering 17 errors in total compared to Ashford's five.
Afterwards, Brighton manager John Edwards looked like a man whose children had just crashed his vintage car.
"We saw some of the best hockey we've played for some time and also some of the worst," he said.
"We made the mistakes, and they rose to the occasion. They didn't even have to do that much. The harsh reality of Southern Prem hockey is that if you make mistakes, you're going to get punished."
Coach Matthew Mcneill had asked for a "dynamic, flexible and more movement-based game" from his players. In the first half, he got it.
Ben Butlin looked poised and languid, Baker made a brilliant break, Kevin Browne gobbled up Lendrum's cunning cross-hitting. The forwards were in charge.
Ashford, inspired by the brilliant [insert sweepers name here], saw their opportunity and took it in gleeful fashion with a shot-come-cross which was put in at the far post by a sprawling Ashford forward.
Brighton had lost players to Saurons orcs since the previous weeks points, and in the last 25 minutes, it told.
Sussex Cup-winning goalkeeper Neil Burlinson summed it all up as Ashford’s players jumped into each other's arms at the final whistle.
"Brighton were inept at finishing the game off," he said.
"These guys play high-level hockey week in, week out. They know that you have to hammer the final nail into the coffin. They threw it away."
DISCLAIMER: All above mentioned names are completely fictional. They in no way reflect those of real people, if there are similarities it is purely
coincidental. The events and sporting prowess displayed here is actually complete tripe. For more information visit:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/rugby_union/7224633.stm