Match Reports
14/10/06
Middleton and Bognor 1 XI 4-6 Men's 4th XI
Now I’m not a superstitious kind of person but there is something odd going on with the Super 4s this season.
Firstly, we have the curse of the centre back. For the third week on the trot one of our erstwhile axe men has been felled by a viscous blow to the head. This week’s unlucky victim was the almighty Reedy. On the stroke of half time whilst bravely disrupting the Middleton and Bognor (M&B) forward he was caught on the ear and Reedy was down. The injury, it was swiftly pointed out, was not too dissimilar to that of Vincent van Gogh (new nickname?).
Secondly, upon returning to the field after a spectacular fall Thompo was asked by Wappy, whether he was “Ok” and “able to continue”…..(??)
Thirdly, Pilsbury Light, the epitome of unswerving confidence, was also heard to describe his own performance as “mediocre” and one of his goal bound shots where he had “topped it.”
Anyway, despite these X-Files type occurrences (Yuri Geller’s number anyone?) on to the game.
Brighton dosed through the first fifteen minutes and it was from M&B’s first sustained attack that they scored following some abysmal marking. Brighton responded in the finest way possible and quickly equalised. The parity was short lived and Brighton’s shaky defence conceded a short corner. The resulting strike was going wide but there was no call from the team and Wappy inadvertently deflected it in to the goal. An innocent error but this did not stop Wappy berating the team for not giving him a shout. Being a physics teacher he should have been aware of human reaction times (0.16 second) and the speed of sound (340 miles per second) which would have made reacting to the destination of the shot, realising that Wappy was the post man, thinking about giving a call and then giving a call as nearly impossible to most of the 4s team.
M&B continued to assert their ascendancy and extended the lead to 3-1 with a rifled short corner strike. Brighton realising they were up against nearly imploded as Bondie nicely/aggressively as a friend informed Lees of the error of his ways. Brighton again looked sharp on the break and reduced the deficit to one.
At half-time (following the loss of Vincent van Reed) we all agreed that we had been playing toilet.
Our aim to get back into a game we had barely been involved in took a serious blow when a break and good run from their skipper ended with a cross which was easily finished at the back post. Yours truly dived pointlessly only to see Tosh watching the whole thing from a great position at the top of the D not overly concerned with the unmarked player loitering with intent.
Now another odd thing happened at this point. Whilst conducting his defensive duties Thompo took advantage of a stroke of luck picked up a penny from the pitch and mumbled “Find A Penny, Pick It Up, And All The Day You'll Have Good Luck.” Now as I said before I am a healthy cynic but what was to follow is compelling evidence for the existence of the paranormal.
Sit down as you read this.
Brighton 4s scored 4 goals in about 20 minutes. If that isn’t enough evidence I don’t know what is. (It could be evidence that lightning can strike twice, for those that don’t remember, the Uber 4’s scored 5 in 25 minutes to win not too long ago).
Some great play and finishing from the forwards especially from top scorer Pilsbury who waded in with five goals in the game (and managed to get out of buying a jug, add him to the list of debtors) and our very own fox in the box Bondie.
Not many of the goals would get even thought of for goal of the season (to be honest who cares). One though was a beauty after good work from the backs, second half sweeper Wappy powered the ball into the D for Pilsbury to get the all important touch to help it on its way past the static M&B’s ‘keeper.
A great victory and, to finish another cliché fest of a report, a true game of two halves.
As we all know democracy is a flawed concept. This was clearly demonstrated in the bar after the match when the unlucky Reedy/van Gogh was voted for the dancing homer award for tackling on the wrong side, which resulted in his injury. The handbag went to a deserving to Bondie for berating Lees in the D after another defensive hash. The teapot was awarded to Wappy for his deflection/own goal from the short corner.
It was a mystery to all how Lees managed to avoid an award.
DB